Bankers with ADHD

I think we're buying a house today. Let's just say Marty and I are driving to Jeffersonville this morning and meeting with our broker at 1 pm to do a walk-through. At 3 pm we are to close if the money's there. I say "if" because even though I have a receipt for a wire transfer from my bank, I'm not completely convinced the money will actually be in Jeffersonville.

Yesterday I went to the bank to get a bank check for cash. This is how my attorney originally said I should do it, so I did it that way. When I spoke to my attorney's assistant, she said oh no, the money won't go in as cash; it won't clear for 2 weeks! This is of course baloney since banks can't hold money that long any more. But they can hold money for a certain period, which would jeopardize the closing.

I went back to the bank. After about an hour, alternating between agitation and unconsciousness, I said I had to leave to take my son to work. This was a lie, but I felt like I was going to kill the banker and decided to play it safe. As it happened, I was picking up a prescription for ativan at the drug store, so I decided to pop one. I figure it couldn't hurt. As I was getting back in my car, the bank called and said everything was all set. Could I come in and sign one more thing? Sure.

I signed one thing three times because she was so slow, the people she needed to countersign the wire kept leaving work for the day. These are bankers after all. I suggested she count out a pile of $100 bills and throw them in a sack. Finally, she told me to go home and she'd bring me the receipt. Now that's service! She finally showed up close to 8 pm. Do you see why I'm worried?

It doesn't really matter. It's not like we'll be homeless if the closing doesn't happen today. On Sunday we're leaving for a much-needed vacation where all I have to do is watch the clouds blow by. I won't need to concern myself with lawyers, guns and money. I won't need ativan either.