Dog Day Afternoon

Asta on the Beach

Yesterday was perfect dog-grooming weather: sunny, cool and not too windy. We have two bouviers des flandres who were looking a bit scruffy so I took out the grooming tools and gave Turbo and Asta haircuts on the back deck.

Bouviers are rare in Rhode Island. Bouviers bred and born in Costa Rica can only be found at our house. And yes, they are bilingual.

Bouvier is French for cowherd. Now you know why Jackie O's father didn't anglicize his surname. Bouvier, the dog breed, originated in Belgium. In addition to herding cows (and in modern times, groups of small children), bouviers can pull carts, climb ladders and balance on a bar suspended in mid-air. I mention this last talent because you might have seen it years ago on David Letterman's stupid pet tricks.

Bouviers were used by the Allies in World War II to pull supply-laden carts to the front lines. The Germans put bouviers on their shoot-to-kill list, and in fact the breed was seriously diminished in the post-war era.

Our bouviers keep their talents well under wraps. Mainly they are good at barking, sleeping, eating and being cute. Very cute. Eighty hairy pounds of cuteness. Did I mention they're cute?

Grooming a bouvier is challenging even when the dog cooperates. Turbo and Asta usually just resign themselves to the ordeal, which takes nearly two hours per beast. I'll not elaborate on technique, but it's basically one part sheep shearing, one part raking with a steel brush and one part scissoring until you have a blister on your thumb. Dog treats are essential. In the end, you have a huge pile of fluff, hair here there and everywhere, a broken back, and a much smaller dog.

By the time I finished dog #2, my sciatica was making me wince wildly. My husband suggested that grooming two dogs in one day is a bit much, but I don't like to prolong the agony. If you have two rotten teeth, I say pull 'em both.

Turbo and Asta look terrific. Their groomer is lame.