The Sky Is Falling

If we don't act immediately, Saddam Hussein and the perpetrators of 9/11 will use weapons of mass destruction to end the world as we know it. Congress must act today to avert this threat.

Oops. Wrong crisis. Let's try that again.

If we don't act immediately, the US economy is going to implode and drag the rest of the world with it. Congress must approve squawk the $700,000,000,000 bailout squawk to avert this challenging situation. Foxy Loxy told me so.

Congresspeople: Before robbing Peter to pay Paul on President Little's say-so, can you do us a favor and waste a few brain cells on that rescue package? Can you make sure Foxy Loxy isn't hiding in an obscure section waiting to lead us to our end? I want to be saved and all but Little makes me nervous. Remember, I'm paying your salary not to mention footing the bill for your health care, so please put away your rubber ducky stamps and take a few moments to consider the ramifications of what you approve. That includes you, too Jonnny Bonny and Barry Parry.

And speaking of health care, do you think we can do something about the "situation" before it reaches the epic meltdown stage?

Thanks a billion.